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Sight comes, sight goes, the key is to keep my mind balanced.

girl sitting on a swing looking down

I have been quiet these past few weeks as I’m adjusting to the vision changes post surgery.

The eye that had surgery is fluctuating. In the first week or two I had amazing vision and then it dropped to 50% vision, then to blurry and double vision, and now it's down to about 30% blurry double vision, perhaps less. My brain has also decided that the prescription for my right eye is too strong I need to squint and relieve the pressure when I try doing any short-distance activities like talking to someone or cooking or cleaning. I’m really struggling to move around or do general house tasks. I get dizzy and the muscles around my cheeks are almost constantly aching and pinching. The eyes are both straining and not sure what to do, so vision bounces from some vision to blurred vision. All of the processing for my brain is making me exhausted. I spend soooo much time resting and sleeping or in a state of fatigue and exhaustion, not able to comprehend time or reality and having to almost shake my head awake. I needed some time to process it all.

It's quite hard on one's heart and soul to go from a pre-surgery prognosis of aiming for 20/20 vision and no glasses; to on the day of surgery being told ‘the implant has taken well, you'll be able to see Nat, you'll have full use of your life again'; to actually being able to see things long distance and up close without glasses for a have one's dream come true .... to believe that I actually healed myself ... that the doctors have actually healed me...

and then ...

within a few short weeks ...

....the vision blurring over again. It’s a shame, and not what the surgeon had predicted. Not the best outcome that I'd hoped for either. I’m ok with whatever happens. I don’t mind my vision level so much but the debilitating migraines and ongoing fatigue make it hard to live a productive life. I like to live an active life and do all the things that make my heart sing, to give service to others and well, simply not be stuck in bed for most of the day. So if I practice what I preach ... looks like I might need to find more restful activities that make me happy.