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My transplant didn't work as planned...

Wow! I actually can't believe I'm typing this. All of the hopes and dreams and aspirations I had that this transplant was going to be the gift of sight and I was going to be able to live a visual life again have been shattered.

My specialist is surprised and even disappointed that I have no change in vision. He explained that my eye hasn't fallen into the round shape that is required for sight, it has changed since the transplant 13 months ago, but not enough. Apparently there are two axis' that come into play with the shape of my eye (see picture below). The specialist removed the last three stitches which are on the axis that can help release the tension in my eye and assist it to fall into a more round shape, the remaining stitches are on the other axis and will remain in there for like ever.

The next step is surgery. AGAIN. Can you believe it? I sat there in complete shock. I mean, it's not a big deal in the scheme of life and medical problems, and I've done lots of emotional and mental work on coming to terms with losing my vision, but at the April appointment my specialist was so positive that I'll get a great result that this came as a surprise.

He said that he will see me in five weeks and then the next steps are likely to be surgery, back at the Sydney Eye Hospital, where he'll decide whether he needs to loosen the remaining stitches or to add some new stitches in an effort to get that round shape.

I was meant to talk about my work hours and how I'm coping with my pain but my head totally froze, I couldn't articulate anything and I could feel my poor doctor getting frustrated as he knew this was something I wanted to discuss. You know when you watch those movies and someone is sitting in the doctor's room and they receive some bad medical news and they just stare at the doctor while the room goes silent? Well that was me. I just stared at my doctor and fumbled as I tried to make words.