I'm up bright and early this morning, today is the day that I go back to the specialist to get some answers as to why I'm still in incredible pain and why I don't have any improved sight. I'm excited and sad. I'm excited because I'm a dreamer and a believer and I really hope that when I go in there today the doctor will have some new ideas and things he can do to return my sight. Maybe he'll remove some more sutures, or maybe there's a cataract or something that's grown on my eye and is blocking my vision? Maybe?
But part of me is sad. This has been such a long and hard journey and the thought of it resulting in no improvements or the thought of having to do another cornea transplant all over again is heartbreaking.
My work review is due now as well, I wonder what hours the doctor will expect me to be able to work? I'm struggling with 20 hours a week, the pain from working on a computer and in the bright office lights is really getting me down. I wonder if the doctor will understand? I feel like most people aren't in as much pain as I am for so long. In most cornea transplant blogs people are up and moving and working and doing all the things they used to. Why am I so different?
Oh well. No point stressing, that's not going to do me any good.
Time for a meditation and some food and then off with my mum and friend Shalveen to see what's next ... wish me luck!