Words can not explain my devastation. I thought about doing a video entry but I am a blubbering mess. The specialist was so confident that I would regain sight around week 2-3, it's now near the end of week three and there has been no change in my vision.
For the first four days I leaped out of bed and diligently tested my vision against my big digital clock, the words on my wall hanging and how much of my face I could see in the mirror. The first two days I was excited that I had something to test for, but as day three and four rolled by and there was no change I decided to stop with the daily testing and just let my eye be.
It's ok, I've done lots of buddism and mindfulness work and I trust the universe. Whatever is meant to be will be and I am ok. The specialist has hope and I trust him, it's ok.
By the end of day 9 I was a blubbering mess, I cried and cried every day. Why god? why hasn't my sight returned? Oh please don't let me have gone through this year of hell for nothing. I can't help but wonder why my specialist chose to do a banana graft and not a full cornea transplant. There are dozens of blogs and stories out there about how people have a cornea transplant and get the gift of sight. So why didn't the doctor give me that chance? I anxiously read everything I could on a full thickness banana graft to see what the chances of sight were. I'll post the results in my medical info section. Good news was that medical research papers have been in favour of this type of graft, they found it has less chance of rejection and that in majority of cases it gives sight. Ok, so my doctor made the right choice. I'll just keep waiting...
Thankfully the doctors had warned me it would be painful and that it might take some adjusting to with the vision changing, like dizziness and nausea, so I took three weeks off work. I knew the first few days would be resting my eyes, then I figured week two I would be able to do a couple of things arou