Facing the fear and feeling peace
Wow ... interesting revelation on my way to inner peace... four days ago I posted on my Insight 2 Sight facebook page how anxious I was about waiting for my monthly cornea scan and getting the results. I allowed myself to feel the fear and tears for a moment and reached out to my friends for some support. Then I dove into the Buddhism practice of not fearing what is not here yet, I told myself to live each day and not worry until I had the results in my hand, as this worry was consuming me.
Yesterday I had my appointment and received excellent news that my cornea was stable. I woke up this morning and realised that I hadn't celebrated last night ... I realised that I hadn't made such an extravagant deal out of it because I was actually at peace with receiving the results, so it wasn’t such a big relief like it normally would be. I knew before I went to my appointment that my cornea will do what it is going to do and me stressing over it is not going to make a difference to the results, and if it is going to deteriorate then me stressing over it isn’t going to achieve anything, it’s just going to take me away from this moment in time.
I’m really proud of myself for this great outcome. I’m really growing as a person and as a Buddha-chick.
I feel extremely at peace.
I am at peace with what is...