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Feeling the fear of potentially losing my graft

Feeling the fear of potentially losing my graft

Something the hospital or doctors never clearly explained was that if I over exert myself then I may lose the graft! That means back into emergency surgery to try and recover it, or worse case, the entire graft is rejected and I have to go through the whole process again.

On Friday afternoon I helped a friend carry a bookcase from my garage to her car, only a few metres. I could feel a bit of pressure in my eye when I lifted the bookcase, so we kept having stops so that I could put it down. I felt fine after she left, but it was the next morning that my anxiety and fear crept in as my eye felt different.

I looked in the mirror but couldn't see any redness and the specialist had said that I'll know if a stitch has come undone if I feel like there is something in my eye, but I couldn't really feel anything ... or could I..?

I knew the best way to handle my anxiety was to get a professional opinion. I called my local optometrist and they couldn't see me til 4.30pm! OMG! That is like 6 hours away. Breathe... I cried, I cried and I cried at how silly I was for risking my eye, and this was before I knew that I could potentially reject the graft.

I went to the local medical drop in centre at about midday and they referred me straight to the ER, but I didn't want to wait hours because I thought I was just getting my eye checked and there wasn't a real emergency. I walked to the car park and sat down and cried some more, how could I get myself in this position? This is the most important thing in the world to me right now, what do they mean go to the ER? I just want to ease my anxiety, I just want to know I'm going to be ok. This lovely lady came up to me and asked if I was ok, sweetest moment, so lovely to have a complete stranger give some love.